The Real Council of Elrond
by Silverhill
Summary: A typical movie-loving fanfic author is sent to the Council of Elrond as it really happened. (Because I hate fics that just rip the dialogue from the movie.) [COMPLETE]
1. Meet Ataniawen

Disclaimer: All characters, places, text, etc. belongs to Tolkien Enterprises and/or New Line Cinema. Original material was created by me.  
  
*~ The Setup ~*  
  
AUTHOR: I am so sick of seeing stories (usually Mary Sues) that have the Council of Elrond from the movie! So using my prerogative as all-powerful author, I am going to drop a typical fanfic author into the scene.  
  
GIRL: This will be so much fun! You know, I have the whole movie memorized.  
  
AUTHOR: Good for you. Now are you ready?  
  
GIRL: First I need a beautiful dress. And I want to be an elf, pointy ears and everything. And I want gorgeous long hair.  
  
AUTHOR: Fine. Anything else?  
  
GIRL: I need a name, too. But I can pick that myself. I'll be called . . . Ataniawen.  
  
AUTHOR: *snort*  
  
AUTHOR: I've also given Ataniawen the ability to understand all the languages that will be spoken. And I've cast a special aura around her, so the other characters will not be suspicious of her or get impatient with her.  
  
*~ The Scene ~*  
  
Ataniawen approached Rivendell with the confidence of all fanfic writers. She was beautiful. And she knew all there was to know about what was going to happen. After all, she had seen the movies countless times.  
  
An elf approached Ataniawen. He had dark hair and grey eyes. He looked quite young but his eyes showed deep wisdom and age.  
  
"Welcome to Imladris," said the elf. "I have been expecting you. I am Elrond."  
  
"I'm Ataniawen," said Ataniawen.  
  
Elrond gave her a strange, intense look of mingled confusion and annoyance, but as the aura began working, the expression faded from his face. He escorted Ataniawen inside and, as a special favor to the visitor, let her ring the warning bell for the Council of Elrond.  
  
"There's a bell?" Ataniawen wondered to herself.  
  
Ataniawen followed Elrond to the place where the council would be held. She found herself in a beautiful porch surrounded by the sounds of birds and the river.  
  
Many elves and others were milling around, waiting for all to be assembled so the council could begin. Ataniawen saw a dark-haired elf she supposed to be Figwit. Emboldened, she walked over to talk to him.  
  
"I am Ataniawen," she said.  
  
The elf looked startled, and a flicker of amusement passed over his face.  
  
"Are you Figwit?" she asked.  
  
"I know none of that name," the elf replied. "I am Erestor."  
  
"Erestor? Who's that?" said Ataniawen.  
  
Erestor had no time to respond, for the council was about to begin. Ataniawen, glad to be relieved of the awkward situation, hastened to find her seat. With the amazing fortune of all fanfic writers, she found the perfect seat: between a dark-haired man and a blond elf, who could only be Aragorn and Legolas.  
  
*~ Interlude ~*  
  
AUTHOR: I'm pulling you out of the story just to see how you're doing.  
  
ATANIAWEN: I'm fine.  
  
AUTHOR: You didn't do too badly. But I couldn't help laughing when you asked Erestor whether he was Figwit.  
  
ATANIAWEN: Where is Figwit?  
  
AUTHOR: There is no "Figwit" in Lord of the Rings. That's a movie-only character. He was even named by the fans.  
  
ATANIAWEN: And who's this Erestor?  
  
AUTHOR: Haven't you read the book?  
  
ATANIAWEN: Yeah! Of course I have!  
  
AUTHOR: Right. Well, it's time for you to go back now. You have a ways to go. The council hasn't even started yet.  
  
ATANIAWEN: Wait! I have one more question before I go back. Why does everyone look at me strangely when I tell them my name?  
  
AUTHOR: *giggles* I don't know where you got your name from. But as near as I can tell, the closest translation of your name would be "man maiden." It's not exactly a good name, but it's too late to change it now. 


	2. How It Really Happened

Seated at the Council of Elrond, Ataniawen thought of how lucky she was. Here she was seated between Aragorn and Legolas. She knew at least one of them would fall in love with her, so she decided to introduce herself.  
  
Ataniawen turned first to the gorgeous, golden-haired elf on her left.  
  
"I am Ataniawen," she said.  
  
"I am Glorfindel," said the elf.  
  
"Glorfindel? I've never heard of you before. I thought you were Legolas," said Ataniawen.  
  
"Legolas is seated there," said Glorfindel, indicating with a graceful nod of his head.  
  
Ataniawen was feeling disgruntled. Sighing, she looked at the man to her right. She looked at his ears. Yes, definitely a man. Ataniawen knew that while there had been other elves at the Council of Elrond, the only men were Aragorn and Boromir. With his beautiful and noble face, dark hair and grey eyes, he could only be Aragorn.  
  
"I am Ataniawen," she said for the second time in as many minutes.  
  
"I am Boromir," the man replied.  
  
"Boromir?! But why do you have dark hair? You're supposed to have blond hair!" Ataniawen said.  
  
"I am afraid I do not understand. I have dark hair, as all of my people do," said Boromir.  
  
Ataniawen sighed. This was not going at all the way she had planned. She was pretty certain, though, that the mean, book-reading author wasn't going to let her out before the council was over. Well, at least the council would be short.  
  
Elrond stood to speak. Ataniawen knew what he would be saying, so she said the line aloud.  
  
"You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor."  
  
"Summoned?" Boromir repeated, confused. "I think you are mistaken. I was not summoned. I do not believe anyone here was summoned."  
  
Ataniawen remained silent. Elrond began by presenting to everyone a rather old-looking hobbit.  
  
"Here, my friends, is the hobbit, Frodo son of Drogo. Few have ever come hither through greater peril or on an errand more urgent."  
  
So that was Frodo. Ataniawen was relieved to see that he had curly, brown hair. At least something at this council seemed right.  
  
Elrond was introducing everyone at the council. "Here," said Elrond, "is Boromir, a man from the South. He arrived in the grey morning, and seeks for counsel. I have bidden him to be present, for here his questions will be answered."  
  
After all were introduced, the council began. But nothing was said about the ring. First they talked about events in the South and East. That went on for a long while. Then Gloin got up to talk about the dwarves and whatever was happening with them. Ataniawen yawned and didn't pay much attention. Then Elrond started to speak.  
  
". . . I have not called you to me, strangers from distant lands. You have come and are here met, in this very nick of time, by chance as it may seem. . . ."  
  
Now Elrond's in on it, too, Ataniawen thought. If they weren't summoned then why are they all here? Ataniawen sat up and paid attention as Elrond started to talk about the Ring. This was the interesting, important stuff.  
  
But Elrond was much more long-winded than in the movie. He talked about Elven-smiths and Sauron and the forging of the Rings of Power. Then he went on about some place called Numenor and its whole history. He told them about the Last Alliance and about Elendil, Isildur and Gil-galad and Narsil and Aiglos and a rash of other places and people. All of the strange names left Ataniawen very confused.  
  
Boromir stood up and asked to speak. He talked about Gondor and some dream he and his brother had. Then he recited a poem and asked for help in deciphering its meaning. Ataniawen yawned.  
  
Aragorn cast his broken sword on the table. "Here is the Sword that was Broken!" he said.  
  
Ataniawen watched with interest the interaction of Aragorn, Boromir and Elrond. But the movie-like drama was interrupted by Bilbo standing up and suddenly speaking a poem.  
  
Ataniawen found herself yawning more and more. Her head drooped, and she had to fight to stay awake as Bilbo, Frodo and Gandalf told everything that had happened to them. She woke up when Legolas spoke. But he only said something about Gollum. Ataniawen returned to her drowsy state when Gandalf returned to his tale, droning on about Saruman. Then the council started talking about some guy named Iarwain Ben-adar. Finally they talked about destroying the ring. Ataniawen thought of how she would join the Fellowship. She supposed she'd wait until after "You have my sword. . . . And you have my bow. . . . And my axe!" and then offer to join them.  
  
"I will take the Ring," Frodo said, "though I do not know the way."  
  
Sam burst out and was named as Frodo's companion. And then the council was ended.  
  
"I want to go, too," Ataniawen said to Glorfindel. "Why aren't they choosing Frodo's companions?"  
  
"Lord Elrond will do that," said Glorfindel. "But it requires thought. That will not happen today."  
  
*~ Ending ~*  
  
ATANIAWEN: That was so unfair! It was really long. And what was all that stuff they were talking about anyway?  
  
AUTHOR: It was pretty interesting. You should have paid attention. Now from the parts you were awake for, what did you learn?  
  
ATANIAWEN: That Boromir has dark hair, for some weird reason. And that nobody was summoned to the Council of Elrond.  
  
AUTHOR: Right. And that means . . .  
  
ATANIAWEN: That my original character can't be summoned to the Council of Elrond. And that I shouldn't write stories where Legolas or Haldir is summoned to the Council of Elrond.  
  
AUTHOR: Good.  
  
ATANIAWEN: It's really unfair, though, that you pulled me out early. Why did I sit through all that if not to join the Fellowship? I was going to join! I would've been great, too. I have awesome fighting skills, with a sword and with a bow.  
  
AUTHOR: The Fellowship wasn't formed for another two months. I wasn't going to have you there so you could try to hit on Legolas or the twins.  
  
ATANIAWEN: There are twins?  
  
AUTHOR: And you still couldn't have gone. . . . But maybe you don't believe me? What will it take to convince you? Oh, Elrond!  
  
ELROND: Don't tell me. I already know what I have to say. 'The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil.'  
  
AUTHOR: There you have it.  
  
ATANIAWEN: I'm still going to write fanfics, you know. And in my world, Boromir will have blond hair, and the council will be short, and my original character will join the Fellowship. It's called creativity. And it means when I write a story it's MY story and I can do whatever I want.  
  
AUTHOR: *sigh* I know you won't change. But at least I've given you something to think about. 


End file.
